Birthday Wishes

So here is a list of things that I want for my birthday: DONATIONS!! But not to me... Instead of buying me a gift use that money to help others.

These are the two organizations that I want my birthday wishes/donations to go to:

 1) The Apparent Project:
           https://www.facebook.com/pages/ApParent-Project/226978225284 (Facebook page) 

            https://www.causes.com/causes/335464-the-apparent-project-the-arts-advovating-for-the-poor (Facebook cause page. ^You can so make a doantion here^)
 
            http://www.apparentproject.org/ (This is their website. You can also donate here OR you can buy a awesome piece of jewlery that is hand made in Haiti by the artisans that they employ!)

 2) God's Plumbline Ministries:
         
           http://godsplumblineministries.blogspot.com/ (this is their blog that you can follow or find out more information about them)

            http://www.causes.com/causes/99725-god-s-plumbline-ministries (this is their facebook cause page and you can so make a doantion here!)

 3) Haitian Creations: Created by Heartline Ministries Haiti (https://www.facebook.com/HeartlineHaiti) and God's Plumbline Ministries.

               http://www.haitiancreations.com/ (you can get an awesome shirt, purse or some jewlery!)

Newton's Law of Motion

Life is what you make it.
No one is going to make it something for you.
You continue to make your life as you age.
As you grow.
As you change.
You can not expect it to make itself.
It is an inanimate object.
When an object is in motion it stays in motion.
Unless acted upon by a force.
When an object is at rest it stays at rest.
Unless acted upon by a force.
Life is an object that needs a force to act upon it.
In your life you are that force.
You cause the standstill.
You cause the movement.
Life is what you make it.

Revisting

Weneda is a girl that most people probably wouldn't think twice about. If you remember, I wrote a blog about her back in late June while I was in Haii. I said that by looking at her you would think that she has been through a lot. But you don't have to think about it to know its the truth. You know instantly the minute those dim, dull eyes look into yours that something is wrong. I have always thought that the eyes are really the widows to the soul and when you lock eyes with Weneda, it is as if she can see your soul but you can not see hers. There is nothing in her eyes.

I have thought about her every so often since I left Haiti in July. I think about her and pray for her all the time lately. If you know me very few people's emotional states effect me on a deep, deep level. Not to say that I am not empathetic but I just don't really let other people's "junk" weigh me down. I realized the other day that she had got to me on that deep, deep emotional level and those eyes have been haunting my sleep. I have been thinking about her for the last few days and like many of my thought trains, it began with something odd...a flip-flop. My favorite flip-flops are the leather ones from American Eagle. Nothing fancy. I always have a pair and they never leave my feet during the summer. The pair I had when I arrived in Haiti had probably been my favorite (next to the ones that are the header of my blog and the feature of the blog titled "Well Worn". I wore those until they broke and then some. I think that I still have them and they are surprisingly still wearable, I just can't find them.) Anyway I am getting away from my point. If you go look at "Well Worn" you will see that I have written on the sandals. They are bible verses. I am notorious for this. I write them on my shoes as a reminder to "walk them out" if my life. Its a corny joke that I made one time but its something that stuck with me. On the broken ones as well as the pair that I brought to Haiti with me, I wrote Luke 7:47...

"Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little."

...which is something that has stuck with me since the first time I read it. It is in the story of the prostitute that washed Jesus' feet. I love that story. The verse reminds me to forgive peopleand love people. No matter what. So I wrote it on my shoes as a reminder.

While I was in Haiti this last time, I was challenged, daily, by this verse. Many things I had to forgive and many people I had to love, regardless. Which is harder than it sounds.

There are many things that I could say about Weneda and some of them I believe I have already told you. One thing I am sure that I didn't say was that she has been raped, many times. There are court cases pending...well, that is what is being said anyway. And its not like its not common knowledge, her mom lets everyone know. As hard as her life is already, I can't imagine what it is like knowing that EVERYONE knows your personal business.

As I said earlier, I wrote Luke 7:47 on my sandals before I left for Haiti. Some of you are probably aware that I did not return to the states with these sandals. I gave them to Weneda. So as I found myself staring at my flip-flops the other day, I remembered that I had wrote that on there.

I have been rolling the thought around in my head that, that verse also applies to her life as well as mine but in a radically different way. It took me at least two days to wrap my head around how and I am still not sure that I really get it. Whether I get it or not, this is the verse that comes to mind when I think about her. In her life she is going to have to learn to forgive many and love much.


"You are so good to me, You heal my broken heart, You are my father in heaven"

Thoughts about the Unexplainable

When you go to Haiti, there is an underlying dynamic that you feel. You can not see it and you don't realize that it has even touched you until you have settled back in to what you think is normal. This dynamic is completely emotional. It is what pulls at your heart strings. When you are in Haiti there is no such thing as down time so it is able to sneak in, in the exhaustion that you feel and it goes unchecked. It is in conversations that you have and the people that you see. I believe that it is even in the air and in the rain. It is not something that we have here in the states. We have an underlying dynamic that is never mentioned but it is also never felt. Haiti is a place that makes you feel things and if you are not careful and even if you are, it brings out the ugly in you. This dynamic makes you feel all the things that, here in the states, we refuse to feel, see all the things that we refuse to see and to hear all the things that we refuse to hear. I think that it might stem from the heightened sense of awareness that you have while you are in Haiti. No distractions. It is also something that I can not explain and in any serious attempt, I would fail miserably unless I was talking to someone who has been to Haiti and felt what I am talking about. Not to say that you couldn't understand...it is just unexplainable.

aesthetics

"Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up

Were hiding behind a skin that's too tough"

Haiti is a beautiful place if you know how to look at it.
You have to be able to see past the the trash and the rubble.
Smell past the garbage and the rot.
Feel past the rocks in your shoes and your own discomfort.
You need to able to feel the music and the voices.
Smell the food and the trees in the air.
You have to be able to see the colors and the people.
All of these things are wholly Haiti.
Even the garbage.
Yet to get caught up in the way it smells and your discomfort, would be a mistake.
You would miss a rich and colorful people with a rich and colorful culture and history.
You would miss a people who are stronger than any that you have ever met.
You wouldn't see those things about them.
You wouldn't be able to talk to them.
Understand them.
Understand that they feel very deeply and how you can hear that in their loud and boisterous conversations that sound like arguments.
You would not see the blue of the sky or the white of the moon.
Yes, it would be a mistake to get caught up in aesthetics when this place has so much more to offer than a look.


"Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up

English Camp Day 2 aka Weneda

By looking at her you would think that she has been through a lot. You would probably be right in that assumption. She is only about 15 years old and she has epilepsy. Her name is Weneda. She is beautiful and scared. Her face leaves a haunting reminder of what can happen here when things go unchecked. Her mother has said in the past that she has had a seizure and fallen into the fire and that is how she has gained the scars that are on her face and arms. But you know that there is more to that story than will ever be told.

The above picture was taken minutes after she had a seizure today at English Camp. It was as unexpected as the sight of a cat in Haiti and no one saw it coming because none of us knew. No one had been told that she had epilepsy. I knew who her mother was and that she had a daughter with epilepsy but I never made the connection that it was her. None of us that know her mother did.

During her classes bible lesson today she just stopped moving. The other kids began to tell us that she was sick and no one knew what was going on. I looked at her and immediately knew that she was having a seizure. I had seen it happen before and it scared me. All of the kids flew off the bench like it had just been lit on fire. They said they didn't want to get her sickness. After she came back to us we, you could see it on her face that she was afraid. She didn't know what had happened. We tried to move her and she clung to the bench. We finally conveyed to her what we were doing and what had happened and she allowed us to move her. We tried to figure out what was going on with her and all of this. We asked her if she was on medication or had any for her seizures. She said that she had lost her prescription. Well...then later today we talked to her again and she said that she had her prescription and would bring it tomorrow because they can't get it around here.

After the seizure today, it hurt my heart to see the way the kids treated her. No one wanted to sit back down on the bench with her. They didn't want her sickness. All of us that were in the room told the kids that they had to sit down. It actually fit right in with the lesson that Amrajeet had been talking about. The love of Jesus.

The Power of a Shoe

So I am pro shoes. I love to wear all kinds and when I heard about Tom's, I was all for that. One for one. Buy one pair and they give one away to someone else when they do a shoe drop. But I never realized the gravity of the statement "One for One" until today.

During camp as I was walking around and talking to the kids, I saw shoes that looked familiar. I looked at them, and looked at them but couldn't place them. Until I saw the little blue and white flag on the back of them. At once there was this overwhelming sense of joy in me as I realized at once that they were shoe drop shoes. I had never seen them before and I was thrilled that they had come here and handed out shoes. I was thought that this is what it looks like when this mission comes full circle. A little girl in earthquake devastated Haiti wearing the same shoes that I have on my own feet at that very moment.

It was a moment to keep in my heart place.