I make a point to keep people out. You could be my best friend and not see the depths of my personality that I keep covered with the rugs I call beautiful. If you are not careful, you could fall into these chasms and not know who I am anymore. They should really be marked off with neon yellow caution tape or have a sigh next to them saying approach with caution. But I choose to hide them with elaborate rugs. Only the people that feel out the floor of my personality realize that there are depths of me to be explored. The ones that decide to go spelunking are the ones that I know I can keep around. But most people I make a point to keep out. The floor is uneven and holey and you could get hurt if you don't have the proper gear. Yet there are things in life that can not be kept out, no matter how hard you try. Things that you see that rip and tear at things in your life. Turning up the rugs and letting the lava underneath come to the surface to flow freely.
When you keep people out and don't really get to know them, or let them get to know the real you, you can disengage them when they go away or when they say something hurtful or when you just don't feel like spending time with them. Things get difficult when you let people in. You have to talk to them. You can't just tell them never to talk to you again when they say something hurtful, you have to talk it out and you kind of have to spend time with them so you don't hurt their feelings. You start to feel like you are tip toeing around so no toes get stepped on. Not my personality to tip toe, I just let it all out and tell you what I am thinking and feeling...so letting people in is hard for me because you have to care about them (and not say what I am thinking all the time) and you have to let them care about you. Well I like to walk normally so when people are tip toeing around me and try not to hurt my feelings with everything that they do, I sometimes just want to say "Hey, I'm a big girl, I tie my own sandals and everything.". But I don't I just let them figure it out for themselves. It saves me the trouble of explaining myself or something like that.
But then letting all the people around you, that you call your friends be strangers, is not a good thing either. Being able to disengage with people when it gets hard is needed sometimes but doing it all the time is not a good thing I have learned. Some people are worth being let in. And not just the ones that go spelunking when they find a cave in the floor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpiEEl_5pmA
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