Is it raining? Or am I just thinking that?

I love the rain. I always have. It makes me feel like something bigger than me is out there. I know that there is but the rain makes me feel it. Thunderstorms make me feel it. Lightning makes me see it. I love to see and hear and feel. The rain that you see. The thunder that you hear. The drops that you feel on your skin. The light that you see flying from the sky. The drops that you hear hitting the landscape. The vibrations that you feel in your deep in your heart. Knowing that it could kill you doesn't even enter my mind when I sit outside in the rain and watch this vehement titan. The wind blows violently, tossing things up and down, from left to right. It howls. The lightning that falls from the sky, maybe starting a fire somewhere or maybe knocking over a tree. It crashes down and lights up the sky. The thunder is my favorite part. When I was little it frightened me. My grandpa told me that it was the angels in heaven bowling or moving furniture. That would make me feel better knowing that it was nothing that would harm me making the noise. Now that I am older and I know the scientific explanation for thunder, I have no reason to be afraid of it. I love it. I love the loud cracking, booming thunder that shakes the entire house or the ground that you are standing on and you feel it deep in your chest, in your heart place. I think that is why I like drums. I can feel it deep in my chest. I love everything about a storm. When people see the damage it can cause, I see the beauty and the cleaning power or such a storm. Then why is it when I go through a "storm" in my life that thunder that is so enticing, becomes scary again. Or why does the lightning become a hazard that can only send trees falling though your roof? Why do I lose that sense of wonder that I had for storms such as this? And why do I forget that there is something bigger than me that is letting this storm happen and the I forget that through the thunder I can feel that there is something bigger than me out there, holding onto me...